"Silly me, expecting too much from people again" -Anonymous
You made me believe in myself, you made me a better person, you made me want to do good things for people and then you went off the fucking rails. You can not be bothered to text me, i spent DAYS looking for you,I have worried about you and cared about you way more than clearly you have ever cared about me.
Honestly, here is what happened, I did EVERYTHING for you, EVERYTHING! I helped you fight your ex, I helped you fight the school, I helped you fight KSHSAA, and what the fuck for? Clearly you never cared about me, clearly our entire friendship was fake.
I mean, we started a band, and you sucked me in. It was so great, and we were all so great, but clearly you just needed people to boost your ego.
"Sometimes you have to give up on people, not because you don't care but because they don't".
I was coming from a place of never singing since my grandparents died, I was coming from a place where I felt less than confident. And what did I think you were giving me? The world. You were my world, and in minutes you tore it down. IN MINUTES. Clearly I look around at your new posts with your new friends and all the glorious comments about how great you are and how wonderful your smile is, all i can think about is how much you have broke my heart. I thought you were "my person", I wrote a whole blog about it, clearly I was wrong. For the few years I thought you even cared a little, I was delusional.
"We lost our chance to love one another, we'll love again, just not each other" - anonymous
So, here is what I have to say. I miss you, but I will not be bullied. I will not believe for one second that this is what you want in life. I also, will not believe that you are showing up with a pepperidge farm cake for me, because clearly you give less than two fucks about my life, about what I'm going through. I have been mad at you since the day you told me about your new life choices, but today.....when you post yourself doing MUSIC and you just look SO FUCKING HAPPY, NOPE.;.....I'm done. Pam is not happy with this, my kids are heartbroken about this and honestly I don't even think you care AT ALL, but I have to write this, or it will keep eating me like a cancer. I will have to get on more medicines (because I have had to double my medicine since this bullshit with you started), and honestly....I can not keep caring about someone who clearly isn't caring about me. Because I have tried.......I have tried.
And I cant't even post a picture, because I still care about you, and don"t want people to think badly about you.
But, you were my best friend, I would have done anything for you. And instead you decided I meant nothing to you, our friendship meant nothing. And that makes me feel like I am in 6th grade again. The crazy thing is, I know in your head, none of it meant anything. It was all fake to you. That hurts on a level I can never comprehend, or explain to anyone. I thought you were "my person", I guess I was wrong. Because "my person" would never hurt me this deeply, never make people think I'm just sitting by while they breakdown in a bath house, they would never make anyone think that I am sitting at my house not caring.....what people do not realize is that for months you have cared about no one but yourself.....and everyone can think you are just still so great and perfect, but for all of us that have been incredibly hurt by your actions, it is not real. It's fake news. I sometimes question if you were ever my real friend.
Good luck in all you are doing, I hope you find happiness in musical friends, and I hope you can be truthful with them and just let them know, that you will break their heart one day. Because in the end, you are choosing you.