My Baby Boy......

My baby turned 7 this past week, it's a harsh reminder that time is going by much to fast. I say a lot that he is the "little big brother". He truly is. The first week of first grade I sat next to him while he read "Green Eggs and Ham" cover to cover and I cried, because I remember going over that book line for line because my 5th grader was struggling with reading it. He is patient with both of his older brothers and tries to help them understand things, he always looks for the silver lining for them, points out the things they do well when they are worried about something they struggle with. They are still brothers so they enjoy pestering each other, fighting and driving me crazy on an almost daily basis. He has a big heart, I constantly worry that I push him too far, or expect too much from him.
 Last year in the midst of planning a walk for Fragile X, I was completely taken aback when he said "I wish I had Fragile X".............let me explain.
8 years ago I was a mother of two, a 9 year old and a 6 year old, both boys and both Mosaic Fragile X. Deciding to have a baby when you know you are a carrier of a genetic condition that could be passed on and cause your child difficulty in life is not easy.We did not take the decision to have another baby lightly, we talked about it, we prayed about it. I bought books about how to increase your chances of having a girl, why? Well, I really wanted to have a baby girl and quite honestly, girls have a smaller chance of being affected by Fragile X. We had charts, we had a plan. We would follow the guidelines in the books, we would have a girl. I remember telling my husband, if we go through ALL of this and still have a boy, then well...God wants me to be a mother of boys!
 4 months later my husband, 2 sons, one of my sisters and I sat in a room watching my sonogram, hearing this sweet little baby's heartbeat.The technician asked if we would like to know the baby's sex ~ our answer was "Of Course".
It's a boy!!!!
Once again a reminder that sometimes my plans don't work out, because God has better ones!
I drove myself home from that sonogram (the boys rode with my husband) and I cried, I cried the whole way home. Crying for the loss of a little girl I now knew I would never have, crying for once again dreaming dreams that would not come true. Then even more so crying, because I realized how utterly selfish I was being, my God....I had just heard the sweetest sound in the world, my baby's heartbeat, and no matter what I LOVED him. I hoped and prayed that he would be healthy, that he would not get the mutated X gene (now a 50% chance he would and I was already 2 for 2).
February 1st, 2008 after being in labor most of the day without even realizing it ( guess what? labor isn't the same every time) my baby was born a short 3 hours after arriving at the center. Since he was my third (and final) baby, I went the completely natural route and had him at the birthing center with my mid-wife and mid-wife in training. My husband helped deliver him and my mother was there, (my biggest cheerleader in the delivery room).
He was perfect, in every way.
We brought him home to meet his brothers, aunts, and Pa a mere 4 hours after coming into this world. He is ornery, he is silly, he is smart, he is caring, and he will forever be my baby BOY!
Even though he is our third child, we learn new things from him all the time. Raising a "typical" child is a lot different than we are used to. School is different, friends are different, sports are different, activities are different, conversations are different. He is everything I never knew I wanted, God knew what he was doing, he knew what I needed.

"There has never been, nor will there ever be, anything quite so special as the love between a mother and a son" - Author unknown