I had to fill out some questionnaires about myself this week, for a study that my son and I have participated in for the past 4 years. The questions were about my anxiety, and how anxious certain situations make me and how often I avoid said situations. The thing is, I have to fill the papers out for how I have felt the last month....half way through the questions, I just start laughing. While the anxiety I feel in certain situations has not changed much, my avoidance definitely has. Where I used to mark, I avoid this OFTEN, I now had to mark SOMETIMES or OCCASIONALLY. This is all because of one person, "my person" which according to urban dictionary means: Someone who is not necessarily your boyfriend or girlfriend but is still your favorite person in the whole world. You would do anything for this person and want to be with them all the time.
I have been blessed with some amazing friends, but I keep my circle pretty small, my two best friends have been my friends since GRADE SCHOOL, I rarely let people in. When you find your 'adult' best friend, it is life changing....it seems like there wasn't a time when we weren't friends. Because of her I leave the house at least once a week to do something I like to do....band practice (I sing). She also signs us up for random gigs around town at nursing homes and senior citizens centers, and volunteers us to help at caucuses. She also will call me up and ask me to go watch a band in 2 hours, and amazingly I go! She embodies the art of spontaneity, and she radiates joy and happiness. I'm pretty sure she would qualify as a Type B personality..... I am in awe of her a lot of times, she makes me a much better person.
I want to try new things when I am around her, and she makes me believe I can. There are times that she drives me crazy, seriously CRAZY. But, she has inspired this list, and I hope you enjoy it!
1. Don't take yourself so seriously........ really, no one cares what you are wearing or if you miss a note here or there. They won't remember that! They will remember that you looked like you were having fun!
2. No regrets.......... the dishes will be there tomorrow, so will the laundry. You can't get time back, there are no do-overs, so enjoy every minute.
3. Sometimes planning is over rated........when I plan things, I tend to "over think" them to death and usually talk myself out of even going. When things are last minute, there is no plan and way less stress, you just go.
4. Life's for the living....... there isn't much you can do if you don't leave your home. There is joy in meeting new people and having new experiences.
5. Everything will be ok.......So....what's the worst thing that can happen? So, you didn't get a paper turned in, or you were 15 minutes late to something, or you didn't feel like making dinner. What is the absolute worst thing that can happen? You'll get over it, everyone will, and it will be ok.
6. It's not the end of the world.........this really goes along with #5, I mean NOTHING, that's right NOTHING is the end of the world EXCEPT the actual end of the world!
7. Smile......yep, you just look better when you smile, people want to be around happy people.
8. Hakuna Matata, it means "no worries" that's her phrase (and her ringtone on my phone). It's also my constant reminder to breathe and refer to 1-7.
So, everyone with anxiety needs a type B friend. At the beginning you WILL need extra medication, but believe me.....they will rub off a little on you and you will be all the better for it.
"You have been my friend" replied Charlotte. "That in itself is a tremendous thing."
- E.B. White (Charlotte's Web)
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