'My Person'.......what my 'adult' best friend has taught me

"A true friend accepts who you are, but also helps you to become who you should be" - Anonymous

I had to fill out some questionnaires about myself this week, for a study that my son and I have participated in for the past 4 years. The questions were about my anxiety, and how anxious certain situations make me and how often I avoid said situations. The thing is, I have to fill the papers out for how I have felt the last month....half way through the questions, I just start laughing. While the anxiety I feel in certain situations has not changed much, my avoidance definitely has. Where I used to mark, I avoid this OFTEN, I now had to mark SOMETIMES or OCCASIONALLY. This is all because of one person, "my person" which according to urban dictionary means: Someone who is not necessarily your boyfriend or girlfriend but is still your favorite person in the whole world. You would do anything for this person and want to be with them all the time.  

I have been blessed with some amazing friends, but I keep my circle pretty small, my two best friends have been my friends since GRADE SCHOOL, I rarely let people in. When you find your 'adult'  best friend, it is life changing....it seems like there wasn't a time when we weren't friends. Because of her I leave the house at least once a week to do something I like to do....band practice (I sing). She also signs us up for random gigs around town at nursing homes and senior citizens centers, and volunteers us to help at caucuses. She also will call me up and ask me to go watch a band in 2 hours, and amazingly I go! She embodies the art of spontaneity, and she radiates joy and happiness. I'm pretty sure she would qualify as a Type B personality..... I am in awe of her a lot of times, she makes me a much better person.
I want to try new things when I am around her, and she makes me believe I can. There are times that she drives me crazy, seriously CRAZY. But, she has inspired this list, and I hope you enjoy it!

1. Don't take yourself so seriously........ really, no one cares what you are wearing or if you miss a note here or there. They won't remember that! They will remember that you looked like you were having fun!

2. No regrets.......... the dishes will be there tomorrow, so will the laundry. You can't get time back, there are no do-overs, so enjoy every minute.

3. Sometimes planning is over rated........when I plan things, I tend to "over think" them to death and usually talk myself out of even going. When things are last minute, there is no plan and way less stress, you just go. 

4. Life's for the living....... there isn't much you can do if you don't leave your home. There is joy in meeting new people and having new experiences. 

5. Everything will be ok.......So....what's the worst thing that can happen? So, you didn't get a paper turned in, or you were 15 minutes late to something, or you didn't feel like making dinner. What is the absolute worst thing that can happen? You'll get over it, everyone will, and it will be ok.

6. It's not the end of the world.........this really goes along with #5, I mean NOTHING, that's right NOTHING is the end of the world EXCEPT the actual end of the world!

7. Smile......yep, you just look better when you smile, people want to be around happy people.

8. Hakuna Matata, it means "no worries" that's her phrase (and her ringtone on my phone). It's also my constant reminder to breathe and refer to 1-7.

So, everyone with anxiety needs a type B friend. At the beginning you WILL need extra medication, but believe me.....they will rub off a little on you and you will be all the better for it. 

"You have been my friend"  replied Charlotte. "That in itself is a tremendous thing." 
- E.B. White (Charlotte's Web)

My vote is my voice.......

"Voting is the right upon which all other rights depend" ~ Thomas Paine

I don't write political blogs, I just don't. We are all free to have our own personal opinions, and more than likely mine are different than yours, but I respect that. The world would be a pretty boring place if we all agreed on everything. One thing having to do with politics that I will stand on my soap box for is voting, and the importance of it. First a quick history lesson.......

"All persecution is a sign of fear; for if we did not fear the power of an opinion different from our own, we should not mind others holding it." ~ Phyllis Bottome

Our ancestors came to America to get away from religious persecution (that is why, in America, we have freedom of religion). People were persecuted for believing something different than the "mainstream". They were banished, driven out of their homes, tortured and even executed for not believing the same as the majority. America still has freedom of religion, but it becomes slippery slope, when we start fearing what is different or try to make laws to protect one certain religions point of view. The fact is there are 313 different religions and denominations in the United States......whoever you are and whatever you believe, you must be respectful that there are at least 312 other ways to look at something, or believe.

"Poverty is not a lack of character. It is a lack of money. A lack of opportunity. A lack of investment.It is when society turns it's back and makes you invisible." ~ Unknown

They also left England due to economic hardships, to give their children and their children's children a better life...today 35% of Americans rely on public assistance to supplement their household, due to starvation wages. The official number of people living BELOW the poverty line (that is based on household size, a family of 5 who makes less than $28,410, a family of 4 making less than $24,250, 3 family members making less than $20,090, 2 making less than $15,930 or 1 person household bringing home less than $11,770) is 18%. Think about that for one moment, if you are a single mom with 2 kids and you work at a job 40 hours a week, that pays only minimum wage you NEED assistance. That doesn't make you lazy, or a free loader...it means we need higher wages, it means American citizens should be doing everything they can to fight for and demand better. The richest county in the world should not have poverty rates this high, should not have people living on the streets, should not have people terrified of not being able to feed their kids. It is simply NOT ACCEPTABLE, and it is in fact one reason people moved from England to America......a better life.

"Nobody will ever deprive the American people of the right to vote except the American people themselves and the only way they could do this is by not voting." ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

Another reason to leave England was political oppression and tyranny. There was no democracy in England, there was a King and his court, there was the Royal family. They made all the decisions, there was no vote, there was no "we the people", they were being ruled by the thoughts and desires of a small percentage of the population. Which is why the fore-fathers of the United States fought so hard to separate from England, to become our own County, to be a government "for the people, by the people". I fear they would be disgusted at what has become of our political system, essentially it is becoming what they hated the most. We have a select group of people (Congress) who have no term limits, who spend as much as FIFTY ONE years in office. Who become so out of touch with the people they "represent" that they are no longer truly representing them. We Americans, all 318.9 million of us are "represented by 535 members of the house and senate, 1.67%.

"Bad officials are elected by good people who don't vote" ~ George Jean Nathan

Which brings me to my point.....history lesson over. WHY? Why do we allow people so out of touch with their constitutes to stay in office, why do we allow their votes to be bought by lobbyist, why do we allow the corruption and greed? Simple.....no one thinks their vote matters, no one wants to wait in line at the polls. We have become so complacent as citizens that we are not even utilizing our most important right, our right to have our voices heard, our right to make a difference, our right to VOTE. in 2012, 42.5% of the population of the United States of America DID NOT show up to vote. They just didn't. Recently in my hometown we had a City Primary vote, it had a voter turnout (including early voting) of 11%, ELEVEN PERCENT! We live in a world where people have been tortured, beaten, and even murdered fighting for their right to vote, to be heard.....sadly there are still Countries where people fight every day for that right.....but my fellow Americans, the Fat Cats of the world, the entitled, we take it all for granted........so please go and VOTE.....or, do nothing, but either way, make sure to bitch about it later.

"My vote is my voice.....and the voice of all who struggled, so that I may have my voice." ~ Lyida C. Obasi