I Am an Ally.......

I saw an ad in my local paper yesterday, a FULL PAGE ad, that made my blood boil and broke my heart all at the same time. That is what prompted this blog, I will not be able to stop thinking about it until it is written. It is so disturbing to me that I hate to even post it on here, but I really must if I am going to explain my thoughts on it.

Ad that ran in local paper this week.....

My opinion is not always the popular opinion, but it is mine. I totally understand the idea behind the law, people want to protect themselves from not having to bake a cake for a wedding they do not approve of, or be forced to take photos at an event they do not religiously or morally agree with. I get it. I do. Here's the thing.......hang up a sign that says "We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone, for ANY reason." That's it.....done, you are off the hook.
When you try to make something like this  a "law" it can easily get twisted and turned around and made to be something that was not intended, it could easily become a license to discriminate against ANY group of people, and that is why people oppose the law, it promotes hate. If you are going to discriminate against gay people and their right to marry (as well as anyone that supports them), then why stop there? You don't want to be a hypocrite after all.....Have people fill out a questionnaire before you will do business with or associate with them, add to your very closed minded law that you will also not do business with anyone who has committed adultery (which would also include a divorcee or anyone who engaged in pre-marital relations). People are people, not angels, just people and none are without sin....you can certainly believe what you want, you can discriminate against and condemn who you want, but if you aren't going to follow ALL the rules, and you are just picking and choosing the ones that fit your agenda, then PLEASE stop doing it in the name of Christianity....please do not use the bible, or scripture or the name of Christianity to fuel your hate group.
I have grown up approximately 30 minutes from the Westboro Baptsist church, and the hate that it spews.....that has been enough to shake my beliefs to the core at times. Because, I am also a Christian, one with deep rooted beliefs in the words of the Gospel, but here's the kicker....I also have a DEEP respect for human life and other people's beliefs in general. It took me a while to come to peace with that.....but, finally I realized....... my God is NOT the God they speak of, he does not hate people, or condemn entire schools, towns, cities and countries. My God is a kind and loving God a forgiving God, a God that LOVED humanity so much that he sent his son to DIE for us. I have waged a war inside of myself with the entire institution of organized religion, just for this reason....hypocrisy. That's right....guess what, nobody is perfect (certainly not me), that is the WHOLE premise behind being a Christian.............if people (anyone) were perfect there would have been no need to send his son.
I understand coming from a small community how hard it is to realize that the world is much bigger than ourselves, much bigger than this community, much bigger than our country. By the way, our country was started with people trying to start over in a place that allowed religious freedom, and there are MANY religions represented through out the world, other than Christianity.
That is what hurts me.....in a time where the world is falling a part and people are looking for any reason to persecute and hate Christians, you added fuel to the fire. Condemning people who are different from you is what has caused mass hate and religious wars, it is what the Nazi's did, and the Taliban still does, the KKK and the countless other numbers of hate groups that have beliefs or practices that attack or spitefully criticize an entire class of people. More importantly a small group of people can taint the entire group, and I really don't want a small closed minded set of people to sway people's opinions of Christianity the way the Taliban caused people to view the Islamic faith.
I wonder if you realize the damage that one full page ad in a local paper can do. I wonder if you understand the difficulties that people in the gay community and their loved ones face. I wonder if you realize just how hateful you sound, or how many teenagers have taken their lives because of ads like yours, or condemnation like yours....from their churches, and sometimes their own families. I wonder if you can see past your own self-righteousness to see the harm this can cause peoples' spirits. I wonder if you realize how many people saw your ad, and decided that Christianity is not for them.
I had a long talk with a friend last night, about the unfairness of the world and why we care so much. I believe it is because I have been down.....way down. I have had the "crowd" against me, I have been gossiped about and lied about. People have formed opinions about me based on absolutely no facts. I have struggled, not as much as some, but I know what struggle is and therefore I am compassionate, I root for the underdogs.....I root for people to have the ability to be their "true selves"(without discrimination)......that's it, take it or leave it this is who I am.
Now, I just have a plea to people......please do not base your opinions on ANY religion off of the rantings and ravings (yes, even mine) of one person or one small group. Use your own brain, read your own books, make your own decisions, and whatever you believe........believe it with your whole being. I have an amazing, accepting and supportive church family, ALL are welcome at the First Christian Church I attend. I will not be swayed, my beliefs will not falter, I will stand up for equal rights for ALL people....(even tax collectors and prostitutes) because I believe the lessons I have learned, the "words in red", and the hymns I sing, with my whole heart, "They will know we are Christians by our love".

Not broken......

"Tattoos are the stories in your heart, written on your skin." - Charles De Lint

I have 5 tattoos total, my newest one I got just yesterday. For me, each of my tattoos means something to me, something I accomplished or overcame, something that left a mark or helped to make me who I am, and so I honored that mark by making it permanent. I know people have mixed feelings on tattoos, my mother is not a huge fan. But, I am going to take a minute to explain mine to you, to try to explain.....what they mean to me.
I got my first tattoo when I was 15, yes, I was an extremely rebellious child ~ usually if my parents asked me NOT to do something, it just went without saying.....I did it. I broke rules and curfew, I caused them many endless nights of worry. I thought they were trying to hold me back, trying to make sure I never had any fun at all. In hindsight of course, they were right........there are many things I wish I had done differently, I certainly never regret my choices or the consequences that went with them (they all had a part of making me who I am, the good and the bad) but if I could go back and do it all again, but NOT cause my parents so much heartache....I would, because I know I hurt them during those years. The tattoo I got was a cross, right below my waist.......I have had 3 children since then and it is not pretty, at all. It has been stretched and re-stretched so that it no longer even resembles a cross, (for that reason there will be no photo of it) but I know what it is, and it reminds me that I certainly DO NOT know everything.
My next tattoo I got at the ripe age of 18, when I graduated from high school ~ because well, I graduated, I was starting a new chapter. It is on my ankle, I intended to eventually have the vines encircle my ankle after further education, the course of my life changed though, and so it has stopped at just the one side, no encircling and I'm ok with that, that tattoo reminds me that my plans are not always God's plans.

At the age of 19, the best thing in the world happened to me, I became a mom for the first time. I was in labor for 14 1/2 hours and had 2 doses of pain medicine the whole time, Rhein Andrew was born at 7lbs 12 oz, and my life was changed forever. For a little while it was just he and I against the world. I had no idea what I was doing, and it took me a while to figure out, but one thing I knew for certain was this baby was mine, and I would do anything in the world for him. I sang to him during my entire pregnancy, I knew his name almost the moment I knew he was a boy and I adapted "you are my sunshine" to be "You are my raindrop" (he will hate that I'm sharing that). So, about 6 weeks after he was born, I got my raindrop tattoo. To me that tattoo is not just a raindrop, but also a tear drop. Being that young and pregnant was one of the most difficult times in my life, I had friends and my family to lean on, but it was the first time I felt truly alone and scared. But, I made it....we made it, Rhein and I, and though there were tears along the way, the "rain drop" is and will always be my silver lining, my reminder that nothing worth having is easy.

I then took a hiatus from tattoos I guess...because my next tattoo was shortly after Rhevl was born (some 10 years later), it is my "sisters" tattoo and was also my most painful. I have two sisters, we wanted to find something that would be meaningful to all 3 of us, and I believe we accomplished that. My middle sister drew our design, we decided on a Celtic triskel (it stands for the three goddesses) and an old German S right in the center (our maiden name is 100% German and starts with an S). We didn't put any placement or color stipulations on the tattoo, except no matter what colors we chose the old German S would have to be in "blue jean blue" to honor our wonderful Gramps, who wore blue jean overalls almost every day of his life. My tattoo is on my foot, my middle sister got hers on her back and my youngest sister also got hers on her foot. That tattoo reminds me that family is forever, and sometimes it hurts like hell....but we are stronger together than we will ever be apart.

Which brings me to my latest tattoo.....less physical pain was endured while it was actually being put onto my skin, but the emotional pain it took to get there was 11 years in the making. Eleven years ago my my two oldest children were diagnosed with Fragile X Syndrome, I am a carrier of Fragile X Syndrome. I lived in denial for MANY years, you know the big thing that no one wants to talk about, the elephant in the room. I have watched my children struggle with things that come simply to "typical" kids, I have watched them struggle to fit in, I have watched them make progress and then regress, I have seen the look of defeat in their eyes. But, I have also seen them fight, seen them rise above, seen them give 110%, and seen them filled with joy.  As I slowly came to terms with the fact that Fragile X will affect their lives FOREVER, I also had to realize that it will also affect mine (being a carrier comes with it's own set of issues). I stumbled across some jewelry made by a fellow fragile x mom (we have a pretty great on-line community) it was a chalk drawing she made that said "Fragile......not broken", it struck a chord with me. Those three words sum it all up rather perfectly, Fragile, we know that, it's right in the name ~ Fragile X. But, not broken.....we can take on a lot and I'm sure people can think of many words to describe me, but broken is not one, I can guarantee you that......never broken. So, I talked to my tattoo artist, explained Fragile X and all that encompasses, explained to her the infinity symbol is very important to me and all my kids, my youngest (who does not have Fragile X) still says  "I love you infinity" every night at bed time. I wasn't sure if it was possible to somehow incorporate the X into the infinity, but she certainly did. And then of course the wording, and the big debate when you are tattooing your wrist/forearm, should the words face you, or the world. So, I opted for both......to the world, it is just simply fragile X, but to me it is a reminder that I am "not broken", and I will not/ can not ever give up the good fight for awareness and treatment for my boys and my family. It couldn't have turned out more perfectly.

"The tattoo is the mark of the soul, it can act as a window we can see in or it can be our shield to protect us from those that can't see past the surface." ~ Unknown