'It's the Life in your years'

If there was one thing I learned in 2014, it was that tomorrow is never promised........ to any of us. So, I like to think I lived my life accordingly in 2015.

"For last year's words belong to last years language and next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning." ~ T.S. Elliot

   It is truly amazing the amount of things you can squeeze into the time frame of one year! This blog will be about reflecting on what happened throughout the year. I was blessed to be able to accompany my middle son on his very first plane ride, when he visited Washington D.C. to speak to members of congress about Fragile X and how it affects him, as a part of National Fragile X Advocacy Day. I got to reconnect with amazing friends, and he was able to meet so many new people. He also was able to see that in the Fragile X world, he is famous! We had some hiccups here at home about that trip, but they were worked out, and I was once again reminded that there will never be a battle I have to fight alone, thanks to amazing friends, family and my home and Fragile X Communities.
   We also had the amazing experience of hosting a foreign exchange student, and I am never sure what to call him when writing, he is much more than "exchange student". He enriched our lives, he taught us things about his culture, and things about ourselves, he is Giovanni.....he was our child for almost a year, a brother to my sons, and will forever be part of our family. We were able to be a part of his american high school experience, new sports, new friends, dances, prom, and earning his certificate of attendance at the high school Graduation ceremony. We also had to watch as he said goodbye, not only to us and our family, but also to the many friends he made while he was here.
   Shortly after Giovanni left to return to Brazil, we went on a family vacation to Arizona. We all 5 rode on an airplane (Rhevl's first flight). We stayed in Sedona for a couple days, my best friend from grade school met us there with her kids and for the first time in 6 years I was able to wrap my arms around her. All was well with the world. Plus, we were in Sedona.....if you've never been I highly recommend it. It is filled with such beauty and an overwhelming calming energy. We had to part ways with her and her family as we headed up to the Grand Canyon, with a stop off in Williams (a town COVERED in Route 66 paraphernalia). Again, the beauty of the Grand Canyon is something you must see in person, no picture will ever show how awe inspiring it is. **Sidenote.....I love the ocean, one thing I have always loved about it is how incredibly small it makes me feel. Like there is SO much more to the world than me, the Grand Canyon in all it's glory had the same astounding effect on me. We were able to see another friend in Flagstaff on our way back to the airport to return home.
   A week after our return I got to cross a 10 year old dream off my list, when I went with Rhett to participate in a Fragile X Study and walked into the UC Davis MIND institute in Sacramento. I will never be able to explain in words how extremely poignant that trip was or how emotionally overwhelming it was.
   We held our 2nd and 3rd 'Indian Taco Fundraiser' to help cover the costs for Rhein and Rhett to attend the International Fragile X Conference in San Antonio in Summer of 2016. We have had such a tremendous amount of support that we reached our initial goal and are hoping to find a way to offer a few scholarships to other self-advocates hoping to attend, as it is truly a life-changing experience.
   We tried something new this year when we embarked on a family vacation with my WHOLE family. My mom, dad, me, my husband, sisters, brother-in-law and all of our kids! We had an amazing 3 day vacation and tons of fun. We stayed in a big cabin, each adult or couple had their own room AND bathroom. We went out on the lake, went swimming, did some tubing, a couple people attempted skiing. We went to Silver Dollar City and lots of different go-cart tracks around Branson. Went to the Wax museum. IT is a tradition that I honestly hope we keep doing, even if it's every other year. Shoot, my sisters and I can even make a trip to Wal-Mart a fun time.
Finally, this fall, Jason and I got to go on a trip by ourselves! He was having a conference in San Francisco for his job. We flew out and a couple of our friends came out as well. He attended all his meetings and then we had a few days for vacation! We walked all over San Francisco, he and his best friend went to a 49ers game, while us ladies went on a winery tour in Sonoma Valley. We got to go to the Golden Gate Bridge, the state park, the piers, I got to visit China town and Little Italy, and we all got to tour Alcatraz. It was a fantastic time.

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years" ~ Abraham Lincoln

   There are many things sprinkled in between these big events: Rhevl got 1st place in his very first Pinewood Derby Race, Jason lost his grandmother in early spring, Rhein and Rhett were able to meet two amazing therapists at a local Fragile X Conference, I got a tattoo that I had been planning for years. Rhein and I traveled to South Carolina for our 3rd year of his study, Rhevl started actually singing with me while we perform with Rhett and Michelle at area churches and nursing homes, Rhett had a part in his Middle School Musical, We were able to go visit with Congresswoman Lynn Jenkins at her local office to discuss Fragile X with her, Rhevl played soccer and had Jason and Giovanni as his coaches,  Rhein was manager for the baseball team, and they let him bat during a game (he hit the ball and the crowd and home dug-out went CRAZY cheering for him), Rhevl finally learned to ride his bike without training wheels, I started blogging,   Rhevl started baseball (and was coached by his dad AND my dad), we had several Schlodder family get togethers at the family farm, I finally exited the mini-van driving club when we purchased a new vehicle this fall, Rhett ran for Student Council again this year and was voted in,  Rhevl played flag football for his first year, and loved it, we held the 3rd annual Holton Fragile X "satelitte" walk, and attended the Fragile X Walk in Kansas City, I lost a good friend on the anniversary of my grandmother's passing, the Holton Wildcat Football Team went all the way to state this year and handled the ice and freezing rain like champs, and somewhere along the way all the kids keep growing, and the two oldest have surpassed my dad in height.

Some of my favorite "selfies" from 2015......maybe I need a selfie stick......

   So......all in all we had a pretty great year! I look forward to seeing what this coming year brings, and I can't wait to share it all with you.......

I am going to decide to be happy this Christmas....

I have to stay busy this time of year, if I don't I reflect or think too much and it is pretty easy to go to a place of doom and gloom when it's gray skies all around outside. 

So, I stay busy doing things.....doing things that unfortunately make me remember, and make me feel that loss. You see, a lot of my childhood Christmas memories involve my Granny & Gramps. Granny loved Christmas, she loved to decorate, she loved to GIVE to people, she loved to make candy trays and stop in to visit with people. She loved to entertain and host parties or dinners, she would usually host at least 3 different things during December. She loved to play the holiday music on her console record player (and later her tape/CD player). 

This is one of my favorite pictures, Granny & Gramps
in that little window opening looking in on their guests
at Granny's Brother & Sister get together.

It all starts with setting up my Christmas decorations, I have half of my Granny's decorations, she would give me 2 or 3 every year. I have her old Christmas tree (the one we would decorate every year after Thanksgiving dinner). I use her cook book to make Christmas Candy and my favorite Christmas Cookies. I make her potato soup when we have our family Christmas. I sing in our church on Christmas Eve, with that still small hope, that she's just running late and will walk in at any minute. 

Oh, Christmas Eve.....this day is probably harder for me than actual Christmas Day.....when Rhein was about 3, we decided that we were done going to 6 different Christmas', so we would do our own Christmas and stop going to our 3 grandparents for the big family Christmas'. But, Granny was very persistent and she would not let us go, she needed help with this or that all through the week of Christmas. So, we decided after church on Christmas Eve we would just go to Granny and Gramps' house and help them get the leaves put in the table, set the table for dinner the next day and just help them get ready. Then we decided we would need to eat while we were there, so we ordered a pizza, and no meal is complete without dessert, so we needed a birthday cake for Jesus! If you had told me that first year that the little pre-celebration we had started would become my absolute favorite part of Christmas, I doubt I would have believed you. There was no stress, there was just us 5 and then us 6, after Rhett was born. 

But see, we started a tradition. Of course no one ever thinks they are starting a tradition, they just do it so many times and then it becomes expected, it becomes a tradition. So this Christmas I miss her, of course I do, and even though the hurt and loss is heavy......for the past couple weeks I have been remembering something Granny would tell me during one of the darkest times of my life (and honestly at the time it made me furious with her). "You just decide Christina, you just wake up every morning and decide to be happy". 

Well, I am here and I am trying to be happy, trying to keep my mind busy. Knowing full well, that the traditions she passed to me or started with me, will be passed to my children and hopefully theirs. I also know that she is with me....and though I might not see her walk through the doors of the church this evening, she will be there, just like she always was.